4 comments 22.4.10

An oven for your stool sample

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under , ,
One of the things I love about Hong Kong is the amount of freebies that get thrown around, some of which seem just a tad random. Take for example the recent campaign by ESDlife, where you can choose from a free toaster oven, massage machine or hair dryer depending on the type of Body Check you purchase. For those who don't have a need for the three gift items above, there's always the easy, no-fail option of taking HK$150 worth of Park n' Shop coupons instead.

I never knew that so many varieties of Body Checks existed, nor had I ever imagined that companies would need to throw in freebies to attract customers. Silly me thought that Body Checks were just something people had to do once a year no matter what, gift or no gift.

Here in Hong Kong though, choosing a Body Check is more confusing than ordering an 8-course banquet dinner. First, there seem to be a myriad of tests that are identical to each other (plus or minus a few tests), so you really have to choose the specific body parts that you'd like to have checked. Next, certain services are treated as add-ons instead of the 'main course', such as a pelvic ultrasound, liver tumor or breast tumor markers.

So, if you decide to have your breasts checked (which is kind of important, wouldn't you say) you'd have to forgo the Cervix Test (aka Pap Smear), which is also pretty fundamental! In comes the ideal option - buy the comprehensive Body Check and add one Breast Check on the side for "ONLY HK$490 more!!"

I have to admit that their marketing is pretty darned extensive, offering special deals for "Two People Together (二人同行)", "Urban Diseases Health Check (都市病健康檢查)" (a MUST for HK dwellers I'm sure :P) and "Buy more save more" percentage discounts (spend over $2,500 and get 5% off, etc.)

However, what worries me is their disclaimer at the bottom of each test description page that says: "*All tests are not for the purpose of medical diagnosis or treatment." So, what the f@#$k are they for then?!
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2 comments 19.4.10

LKF Stump Fisted Beggar

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under ,
Our latest beggar is the LKF Stump Fisted Beggar, commonly seen on stairways in and around Lan Kwai Fong. This includes the stairs leading up to the LKF Tower, the stairs going down from Yumla to Baby Buddha, and of course the stairs around the LKF public toilets.

As his name suggests, this beggar has no thumbs or fingers and usually looks gloomy and sad. He has a plastic cup pressed between his stumps for collecting spare change, and he's also known for shaking his stump fist at you while you walk by. Once, he even used it to prod @mystifize, immediately putting her into turbo mode as she raced down the steps.

It's unknown how much the LKF Stump Fisted Beggar manages to make each night, as I've never seen his cup even half full. Perhaps he would make more money by putting his stump fists into good use, such as becoming a masseuse, bread kneader or African drummer...
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3 comments 15.4.10

seeing stars

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under ,
The other day, I was boarding a plane back to HK from China when I suddenly saw a familiar face in business class. His eyes were sharp, hair combed, skin tanned and firm (but a tad lumpy) and he was wearing a posh-looking satiny suit. Next to him sat a lady in a fur-trimmed jacket. During that split second when our eyes locked, I just couldn't place him and even after I found my seat I was still wondering, "Who the heck was that??"

It wasn't until I awoke suddenly from a short nap that I blurted out, "Cheng Siu Chow!" (veteran TVB actor and ex-husband of Lydia 'Fei Fei' Shum).

Now as a non-fan, I wasn't really inclined to do anything in particular, but I knew that anyone I told about this would probably ask for proof, so I decided that I should at least TRY to get a picture with this aging star...!

It was easier than I thought, because right after I went through the HKID e-Channel, Mr. Cheng just happened to be out before me and was waiting alone in the baggage collection area, so I went up to him quickly and asked for a picture.

A minute of awkward silence ensued while my colleague took multiple photos of me smiling stupidly and Mr. Cheng standing stiffly. What's weird too is that he kept saying 'hello' during the photo-taking in a soft yet high-pitched voice. Once we were finished, I mumbled thanks and ran off, feeling silly and a little bit rude.

I couldn't help thinking how it must suck to be a celebrity when all people want from you is a picture. You might as well be a freaking Madame Tussauds wax statue, right? No one ever asks,  "How are you?" or "What's new?" and you gotta just stand there awkwardly with total strangers who treat you as nothing more than an object.

The fact is, I don't know him, I don't wanna know him, I don't want to know how he's doing or what he's been working on. I just wanted simple proof that I'd seen him. How stupid is that??
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