Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
3 comments 27.6.12

My evil thoughts

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under , , , , ,
Sometimes, I get these evil thoughts. Like today, when this elderly Mandarin-speaking woman in front of me at the MTR customer service counter opened her mouth wide, turned towards me and started making these deep and dry-throated "BLEH-EH-EHH" noises.

Apparently, she had some phlegm lodged in her throat, and believed that the longer the "BLEHHH" the more chunks of phlegm she could move upwards into her mouth. It was pretty gross, and as expected my "WTF" face didn't faze her at all. Even the guy inside of the MTR service counter looked disturbed.




It's moments like these when the evil thoughts occur, like how I imagined hacking up and spitting a giant phlegm ball into her face (if only I knew how to hack phlegm up). Unfortunately, it's a skill I never picked up, but the thought of doing so brought a small smile to my face. :)



(And before all you haters post a nasty comment below -- yes, I'm a horrible, horrible person :P)


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2 comments 4.3.12

Screw diets!

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under ,

There's something quite sobering about a haggard-looking woman in her 50s talking about the latest diet she's about to go on, especially when it's not even a new diet like the Dukan. Instead, she's planning on doing the prehistoric cabbage soup diet again (you know, the one where you eat cabbage soup for two weeks), in an effort to make herself bikini-ready for her next beach holiday.

While I'm no stranger to diets, I had always assumed that I'd give up on all that once I reached a certain age (say, 40 or 50). I mean, what's the point, really? Hopefully by then I'd be settled down and loved for every inch and roll that I have, not to mention a proud owner of a bakery opened with my cousin Sally (who will hopefully be just as round as me :). 

In our 20s, it makes sense to go on diets if they help us look and feel better, but I can't imagine an entire lifetime of trying this diet and that diet, just to shift a bit of weight here and there. Beyond a certain point, you'd think we'd all just grow up and focus on what's inside, or have adopted a balanced enough lifestyle that didn't require us to go on weird diets that don't actually do anything in the long term. 

So, after speaking to that woman and having dieted myself for the entire month of February (for a work assignment, I might add), I went home and ate a giant bowl of Ruffles sour cream and cheddar chips (followed by a few lychee jellies, Lindor chocolate balls, and some homemade chocolate chip cookies). Cuz, you know, there's always tomorrow... :)

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5 comments 15.6.10

Fashion is fake

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under , , ,
A friend of mine was visiting HK a couple months ago when he noticed some locals wearing thick plastic framed glasses without any lenses. Over a bubbling pot of pork bone soup, he asked me, "What's the point of wearing glasses with no lenses?!" At the time, I thought it was pretty redonkulous too, but now that I’ve had a few months to think about it, I have to say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with it!

See, the trend of wearing nerdy glasses came to Hong Kong via our lovely neighbors Japan and Korea, where cute girls would strike unbearably cute wide-eyed poses with oversized glasses to become (if possible) even cuter. Soon, many HK girls were seen wearing these glasses all over town, first with fake plastic lenses, but soon without any lenses since they were fake and useless anyway.

At first, I thought it was kind of shallow to wear glasses without real lenses or any at all, and even though I did end up buying a pair with clear lenses (yea so what!?!), I always told people that they were prescripted. For whatever reason, I was embarrassed to admit that I was only wearing them for fashion, to look smarter or simply look a bit different that day.

It turns out that the 'glasses with no lenses' discussion is quite a heated one, where REAL glasses wearers lash out at so-called posers with comments like:
  • Stupid, fake, tacky, totally ridiculous!
  • It's like we 'REAL' glasses wearers are being mocked
  • At least buy glasses with lenses so you can pretend better!
  • I think this is the one fashion trend that serves pretty much no purpose.
  • They’re about as useful as suspenders that aren’t legitimately holding your pants up, or a belt around a dress!
But let me ask you this, is there really a point to ANY fashion trend? That isn’t fake or pretending to be something else? Like, when someone starts wearing a leather biker jacket, do the people who have been wearing leather biker jackets for years say, “OMG, those other people wearing leather now are SO fake! They don’t even ride bikes! They should go back to denim and stop mocking us!”

And what about wearing accessories like earrings, belts or headbands? Do people ever say, “Why are you wearing earrings? They serve no purpose at all! How vain can you get!?!" If everyone thought like that, we'd probably all be 'too embarrassed' to decorate ourselves with anything more than plain t-shirts and jeans.

The fact is, everything we wear these days, whether it’s a Nike t-shirt (why not Adidas or Puma?!) or sparkly sequined top (are you trying to blind me?!) serves no real purpose other than fashion. The only difference is that in Hong Kong, there seems to be less rules on what can become a fashion statement (just look at these cast-inspired sandals)! So, to get back to the glasses… please fake yourselves out!!
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6 comments 17.5.10

Awkward moments with my foot masseuse

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under ,
After a long day of hiking/walking/shopping (or just plain sitting, hehe), there's nothing better than getting a good ol' Chinese foot massage. Newbies may feel some pain at first, but I personally *love* getting my toes cracked! ;) By the time you get off your plush leather sofa and walk out the door, your feet will feel brand new and ready to take on another 8 hours of stomping round HK.

Since moving here, I've indulged in my share of foot massages, giving rise to some pretty awkward conversations. Here are some highlights:

Masseuse: You don't exercise much, do you? Your calves are so tight.
Me: What? I work out regularly! Around 2-3x a week! What about you...do you like to exercise?
Masseuse: This IS my exercise...(heaves a bit harder as he rubs my calves)
Me: Oh...

Masseuse: What do you do here in HK?
Me: I write stuff (I say 寫工 - not knowing that I just said I'm a social worker 社工)
Masseuse: Oh woooww...you must be able to handle a lot of stress...what kind of people do you work with?
Me: Huh...? What? Err...(oh sh*t)...usually...old people?
Masseuse: Wooowww... Social workers earn a lot, don't they?
Me: Um...sure... :\

Me: Please try to avoid touching my right knee, I fell during soccer a few weeks ago and I still have a scab there...
Masseuse: You mean this? (smiles triumphantly as he holds up my scab)
Me: :-o
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4 comments 4.8.09

Can't we all just get along?

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under , , ,
Last night, I contributed to the death of the biggest cockroach I have seen to date. What had he done to deserve such a cruel execution by way of flipping, scraggling and drowning in a never-ending stream of RAID poisonous spray? Nothing, really. He was simply in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

You see, if you're a giant cockroach who happens to be hanging around on the doorbell outside my apartment, and by the time I actually notice you, you're a mere 2 inches from my face, I have no choice but to (shriek like a banshee and then) KILL YOU.

Obviously, I didn't kill the guy myself. After letting out a shrill scream, I backed up slowly, froze for 5 minutes and then threw my house keys against the front door. There was no response, so I called for back-up.

Another 5 minutes passed before C came out of the apartment armed with the almighty poison spray, which he used to blow the roach off the wall, onto the floor and finally onto its back, where it struggled for a good 30 seconds before his hairy brown legs eventually stopped kicking around at odd angles and folded slowly into their final resting place.

Apparently, I had been screaming all the way through because one very annoyed neighbour poked his head out with a WTF!? expression. I explained that there was a giant cockroach, but his facial expression remained the same.

Staring back at the cockroach corpse, I wondered... Why did we just kill a seemingly innocent creature? Is it just because he looks so damn frightening and ugly? It's not really his fault he looks that way, is it? I know we don't want roaches inside our apartment, but did we really have to kill it so brutally? Do all cockroaches deserve to die?? If so, why?? Why can't we all just get along??

Still, I'm kinda glad it's dead.
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3 comments 20.2.09

Fat 39 year old housewife

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under
Since I moved to Hong Kong, I've received quite a few comments that I coulda really done without. Granted, all opinions are just perceptions, but the ones I've been getting lately have really made me puzzled as I try to understand what exactly I am doing to get such remarks.

First, a guy who was looking for a running buddy said I looked 39 (@_@)... I believe his exact quote was "you dress young but your face looked mature -aka old"...

A few weeks later, my female coworker asks me in the elevator back up to the office, "Have you always been this...big? Or was it after you moved to Hong Kong?"

And just yesterday, a new friend of mine said I give off a "housewifey" vibe, and even used the words "caring and MATERNAL" in the same sentence as me...

[my jaw is gaping open at this point] W-O-W.

I have to admit, I definitely don't like what I'm hearing, but I still gotta try and understand why they said that, especially the housewifey part because being a domesticated, maternal housewife is actually my worst nightmare!! C'mon, anyone who knows me knows that a) getting married and b) having kids are actually on the very bottom (if at all) on my list of life goals. ::SHUDDER::

After some serious analysis, I think it has to do a lot with stereotypes, actually. The thing is, if you're not single in HK, you're probably married and/or have a very stable, long-term, boring kind of life. Next, if you have a boyfriend, you must be in HK because of him, e.g. FOR him, since we obviously don't have any life goals of our own, right? (Add extra domesticated points if you are Asian - check!)

Am I right, or am I right??? But pardon me, I have to go now and pick up after my 4 kids, clean the dishes, hang the laundry and put dinner on the table before my master - oops I mean mister - is back. :P
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1 comments 5.1.09

No turning back

Posted by Miss Fong - Filed under

Hong Kong is a place full of choices. Just take one look down any street. There are hundreds of restaurants to choose from, thousands of stores, millions of shoes and handbags. So, how do you choose??

For a Gemini like myself, choices = disaster. Every decision is a potential regret, and not being able to do it all is a killer!! But you know what, it's inevitable that I have to eventually make a choice, like it or not.

When it's just a shopping purchase, it's reassuring to know that you can always take it back. But when it's a life decision, some things just can't be reversed. I must say now that it's clear that I made the worse-off decision two months ago, but hey, it happens.

Now it's time to dig myself out of this mess! :p Wish me luck, everyone!

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