Grooming: Not just for dogs

For all the guys out there who have the same views as Ma Fan Jai about bushy ladies, this may come as good news to you!

I was browsing through HKU's School of Professional and Continuing Education when I came across a rather peculiar course called "Grooming for the Female Executive".

The course costs HK$2,200 and includes six 3-hour sessions where HK ladies learn about Interview & Presentation Skills, Health & Skin Care and Colour and Professional Image.

Here is the detailed breakdown of what the course covers:

1) The importance of first impressions

Look cute, don't say a word, but giggle often.

2) Understanding personal style and developing your own professional image

Always, ALWAYS carry a luxury bag to appear posh and stylish.

3) Achieving credibility through a polished appearance and effective style strategies

Make sure your nails are nicely manicured (preferably gel nails with gemstones) and wear as much lace and bows possible.

4) Professional dressing guidelines by using colours

Wear mostly black, it will make you look slimmer.

5) Creating professional image by using the right “make-up” tips

Use eyelid tape to create double eyelids (because nobody likes ugly single eyelids) and always attach false lashes to make your eyes look bigger.

6)“Healthy Choices” for healthy body

Do not eat more than 300 calories a day, or you'll be labeled a pork chop!

7) Taking care of your skin and establishing a good skin care regime

Invest in the most expensive laser facial treatment plan you can find that makes you as white as Michael Jackson.

8) The business of good etiquette and manners -doing the right thing

Chew with your mouth wide open and focus on watching that TVB show instead of conversing over dinner.

9) Do’s and don’ts of Western dining

Don't bother waiting for other peoples' plates to arrive before digging in yourself, or your food will get cold!

10) How to make “small talk” matter.

Bring up Hello Kitty anytime, anywhere! It's the perfect conversation starter!

Now, whether or not the course covers actual 'grooming' (ie. armpits, legs, etc.), I'm not sure, but isn't it nice to know that clueless female executives in HK have somewhere to go when they need some help? ;p

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Fashion is fake

A friend of mine was visiting HK a couple months ago when he noticed some locals wearing thick plastic framed glasses without any lenses. Over a bubbling pot of pork bone soup, he asked me, "What's the point of wearing glasses with no lenses?!" At the time, I thought it was pretty redonkulous too, but now that I’ve had a few months to think about it, I have to say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with it!

See, the trend of wearing nerdy glasses came to Hong Kong via our lovely neighbors Japan and Korea, where cute girls would strike unbearably cute wide-eyed poses with oversized glasses to become (if possible) even cuter. Soon, many HK girls were seen wearing these glasses all over town, first with fake plastic lenses, but soon without any lenses since they were fake and useless anyway.

At first, I thought it was kind of shallow to wear glasses without real lenses or any at all, and even though I did end up buying a pair with clear lenses (yea so what!?!), I always told people that they were prescripted. For whatever reason, I was embarrassed to admit that I was only wearing them for fashion, to look smarter or simply look a bit different that day.

It turns out that the 'glasses with no lenses' discussion is quite a heated one, where REAL glasses wearers lash out at so-called posers with comments like:

• Stupid, fake, tacky, totally ridiculous!
• It's like we 'REAL' glasses wearers are being mocked
• At least buy glasses with lenses so you can pretend better!
• I think this is the one fashion trend that serves pretty much no purpose.
• They’re about as useful as suspenders that aren’t legitimately holding your pants up, or a belt around a dress!

But let me ask you this, is there really a point to ANY fashion trend? That isn’t fake or pretending to be something else? Like, when someone starts wearing a leather biker jacket, do the people who have been wearing leather biker jackets for years say, “OMG, those other people wearing leather now are SO fake! They don’t even ride bikes! They should go back to denim and stop mocking us!”

And what about wearing accessories like earrings, belts or headbands? Do people ever say, “Why are you wearing earrings? They serve no purpose at all! How vain can you get!?!" If everyone thought like that, we'd probably all be 'too embarrassed' to decorate ourselves with anything more than plain t-shirts and jeans.

The fact is, everything we wear these days, whether it’s a Nike t-shirt (why not Adidas or Puma?!) or sparkly sequined top (are you trying to blind me?!) serves no real purpose other than fashion. The only difference is that in Hong Kong, there seems to be less rules on what can become a fashion statement (just look at these cast-inspired sandals)! So, to get back to the glasses… please fake yourselves out!!

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