Central Handless Burnt Eyes Beggar

After another long day at work, I came across another beggar on my to the Central MTR. Seated on the right side of Theatre Lane near exit D2 of Central, the Central Handless Burnt Eyes Beggar has severe burn marks on his head, especially around his eye sockets.

He looks up at passerbys with a forlorn expression on his face, and shows off his (missing) hands which have apparently been cut off. His head is also quite bare from having been burnt, and as I recall, he's only got a tuft of hair on the top of his head.

Although he is in a high-traffic location where many OL (office ladies) and OM (office men?) pass by, I've never seen anyone stop to give him anything. So if you're reading this, please stop by Maxim's, McDonalds' or Marks & Spencer nearby to get him something nice!

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How to Win at Mah Jong

Like most Chinese kids, I learned to play mah jong at a young age, mostly from watching my grandma play on the weekends with her floral sweater clad gang of senior sistas from around the block.

But even with this 'intense' training, my mah jong skills never really progressed over the years, since I usually played with fellow 'fake Chinese' or non-Chinese friends (which automatically made me the expert, oh yeaah). In Hong Kong, I've definitely had to up my game when playing against locals or anyone more Chinese than me, but my preference is still to win with the easiest and most hated hand, the worthless chicken, or let fate run its course (read: no strategy whatsoever).

Of course, some people are more competitive than others, as evidenced by a notice in my apartment block about an internal mah jong competition coming up. I forget how much the prize was, but I'm pretty sure the participants are more interested in winning the title of Mah Jong Master of our apartment block than anything else.

Not that I was thinking of entering or anything, but my curiosity got me googling for any guaranteed strategies at winning at mah jong, and turns out there are a ton! Like:

When you first get your tiles, make an immediate evaluation of how many tiles you are away from victory.

• If it's under 4, play to WIN.
• If it's 5, it really depends on whether you draw good tiles.
• And if you need 6 or more to win, just give up and play defensively (or to sabotage the others, if you prefer).

If you're playing to win, take lots of chances and discard anything you don't need. If you're playing for a draw, never discard a dragon (white board, green veggie or red centre) or wind (North, South, East, West) except your own, never show your tiles by calling 'seung' or 'pong', and discard tiles in the following order: isolated winds, numerals, dragons and special winds.

Another good thing to know is what to say when you actually win. Although it doesn't happen often, I thought I could just shout "HAHA! I WIN!" (哈哈, 我赢!) but apparently that doesn't quite work in Cantonese. What you're supposed to say is "SIK-WU! 食糊!" (lit. "EAT CONGEE!"), which can also be replaced by "JI-MOH!" (lit. "SELF TOUCH!") if you drew the winning tile yourself. Pretty kinky stuff, huh?

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Do we need armpit hair?

Lately, I listed a few things online on various buy/sell websites in HK trying to get rid of some junk in my apartment. Most of the items are gadget-related, like an electronic ENG/CHI dictionary, compact prosumer camera, iPhone4 case and a bluetooth headset (*hint hint* contact me if interested ;). I thought, since I never (and I mean never) use them, why not sell them to someone who might make better use of them, right?

The problem is, once people start calling me and making offers for my items, I immediately get all wishy-washy about whether I really want to sell it, since their sudden interest proves that what I've got is pretty damn hot and in demand! Naturally, I set the price high so it's above what they wanna pay, so then I feel pretty good that I get to keep something that other people want. Stupid, huh?

I guess it's also a matter of wondering whether you are getting rid of something that might actually come into use later (a typical thought for any packrat, I suppose). But then, this thought came up again when I was about to book an appointment for my first laser hair removal treatment, specifically for the underarms.

Suddenly, I found myself thinking, 'Sh*t, this is permanent man...NO more underarm hair in the future...so be 100% sure that this is what you want. Now, do you foresee any situation in the future where you might wish you still had underarm hair?'

After thinking long and hard, I couldn't think of any reason not to get rid of it, so I went ahead and booked my appointment. I can still cancel though, so if you know of any compelling reasons for having armpit hair, please let me know and I'll reconsider. :)

Zap or Keep?

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So-So Social

In the spirit of Social Media Week HK, I thought it's about time I 'socialized' my blog as well, or risk becoming a dinosaur in the digital world. Not that it'd be a bad thing, since dinosaurs rock, but you know, anything that simplifies the sharing process for people is probably a good idea.

So...what's new, you ask? Well, there's now a nifty Facebook Like Box integrated onto the right hand side of the page, as well as a lil tab on the left side that makes it easy to 'Like' or 'Tweet' the page you're currently on. Feel free to use, misuse and/or abuse them as much as you want!

A peek at the FB page

And, while we're on the topic of being social, let me introduce you to a few new friends of mine: Sherman, Jacky, Harry, Billy and Charlie... Find out who they are on my Facebook Page and let me know what you think!


(Note: Not all my friends are made of Fimo...or maybe they are... ;)

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MISSING!! Favourite concierges gone by...

It's that time of year again - Chinese New Year - and you know what that means… It's time to put on that tacky Chinese outfit you would never be seen in public with every other day of the year, time to drop our jaws for 20 minutes straight going 'wahhhh' for the same ol' fireworks in Victoria Harbour and of course, time to shirk around all those building reception and security guards that we don't really know or like enough to give them a red pocket (lai see).

I know it's proper etiquette to give all of them a lil somethin' somethin' for the hard work they've been doing for the past year, but I just don't believe in obligatory giving, especially when it's to the masses and to pseudo-strangers at that. In fact, I'm proud to say that I am a strong supporter of special treatment, both giving and getting (aren't we all?).

Anyway, now that the red pockets have been sneakily distributed to (only) those we've deemed 'favorites', I can't help but reminisce at some of our favorite building concierges gone by...*sniff sniff*

Eggie

Eggie aka. Elgar/Egwart/Egwar (?) was the first reception guy in our building when we first moved to Hong Kong. A skinny, soft-spoken and dare I say nerdy guy, he could often be seen chatting on the phone with his 'girlfriend' (unconfirmed) during his regular graveyard shifts, unless he was asked for help, that is. No matter whether we asked him where we could order takeout, how to stream Premier League games or how to change our locks, he would always conduct intensive research before answering us, in the form of a 3 page handwritten note slipped discreetly into our mailbox the next morning. Sigh…he was so sweet!

Mickey

Mickey was a beautiful and sweet Hong Kong girl who always made me wonder what the hell she was doing as a reception girl in our building. To me, she could definitely enter and win any beauty pageant with her big (contact lens-enhanced) black eyes, porcelain skin and sweet as sugar giggles. One day, she even referred to our neighborhood as a 'garbage land' (translation: dump), so I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised when she silently disappeared one day…

Mongkok Guy

My personal favorite, Mongkok Guy was aptly named for his partly-shaved emo haircut and rough-looking features. A man in his mid-30s, one of his eyes was a little bit smaller than the other, which I assumed was a battle scar from a fight he'd survived versus other triad members in his past (or current?) life. Always friendly and helpful, we felt particularly hurt when he disappeared without telling us, especially when we had gone out on a limb by outwardly telling him he was "our favorite" guy! ::burn::

Unfortunately, all three of them disappeared without any notice at all, so I have no idea where they are now. I hope Eggie found a better job where he can actually spend the evenings with his said-girlfriend, and I have a feeling that Mickey and Mongkok Guy may have run off together (they seemed quite close and always worked the same shifts for some reason) but who knows?

If anyone out there has seen them, please let them know that they are sorely missed... and that their red pockets are here waiting for them! :'(

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