Our new secretary

We recently got a new secretary at work, and all-in-all she seems to be a nice girl. I don't know much about her, but what I do know is that I always seem to get caught in her Dutch oven (or should that be Canto-Oven?)…

Although there are no bedsheets involved, the concept is the same. Every time I get up to go to the loo, she's JUST made her exit from the one and only tiny claustrophobic toilet on our floor, where odors get steamed and ripened by the humidity and linger around for much longer than they should. From the noxious smell and race car tracks at the bottom of the toilet, I can tell she has some pretty severe digestive tract issues…TMI, anyone!?!!

Every time I'm caught in her trap, I find myself cursing her silently while I try to hold my breath for as long as I can. When I return to the office, she flashes me a purpley gummy smile as if nothing's the matter, when in fact, my oxygen-deprived face must be the same shade as her gums…

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I'm a cavity; come and get me

There are some things you're just supposed to know, like: never touch a hot stove, date a guy who lives at home and wear high heels to go hiking. Another thing to add to this list, which I'm guessing most other people know already, is: never move into an apartment that's under construction.

I have no idea why this never occurred to me before, but as I sit here in my godforsaken apartment listening to the sound of 3-4 industrial drills hammering away at all four walls around me, I finally understand now what it feels like to be a cavity.

The entire building is going through a renovation right now starting with the exterior, followed by the entire lobby, and of course, the landlord and agent conveniently showed us the place in the evenings when the dirty and dusty construction workers were nowhere to be seen. 

After moving in, we discovered that the drilling is daily and usually starts at 8/9am on weekends, the lifts are often crammed with smelly garbage bags and various other crap, and the sky literally rains concrete clumps that hits our windows on the way down. Because of that, all our windows have been covered by a thick and opaque piece of white plastic, which means we can't even look out to check the weather for the next couple of months.

The expected completion date of the renovation is supposed to be July 23rd, but that's just for the exterior. After that, they'll get cracking on renovating the entire lobby downstairs, fml. AND, if that wasn't enough, the cherry on top of all this is: there is now a band of miniature flying cockroaches mating outside of our apartment door as we speak (which turns out to be quite a good story in itself...stay tuned!).

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