A tribute to cockroaches

It's quite sad, actually. Looking at their little brown bodies, some long gone, flattened, dried up and flaking off the ground, others freshly squashed with a blob of yellow goo sitting right next to their corpses.

I must admit, I'm no cockroach lover but I do feel sorry for them. I mean, I would never, I repeat, NEVER, step on one (for fear of projectile puking instantaneously afterwards) but that doesn't stop other people from giving them a big, CRUNCHY, triumphant stomp. Yes, they're hideous, annoying, and just plain frightening, but have you ever took the time to try to understand them?

Here are some little known facts about our shiny, brown friends:

1. The most common cockroach we see on the streets is actually AMERICAN (!).
2. Cockroaches average 4cm in length (obviously, the HK ones are way above average).
3. They have two eyes with over 2000 individual lenses each.
4. They are one of the fastest insects in the world - about 50 body lengths per second, which would be comparable to a human running at 330 km/h!!

Human vs. Cockroach

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Chinese donut, anyone?

I couldn't help laughing when I read the following news item:

Blind Hong Kong wife pours hot congee on cheating husband's groin

Not only did she splash his nekkid genitals with boiling hot congee, she even attempted to destroy his little armies forever by putting female hormones into his drinks! A great lesson for cheaters, I must say.

Upon further analysis, a few other thoughts surfaced in my mind...

• She's got pretty good aim for someone who's blind
• Why the hell was he sleeping naked?
• Was she already blind when they got married??
• Why did she think he was cheating on her?
• Will he ever be able to eat congee again (or god forbid, a chinese donut)??

Yummay~!

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Back to humidity

After a blissful week in Europe, I am now back in the sweltering heat of Hong Kong. While I was gone, I missed out on:

• another acid attack in Mong Kok
• falling loudspeakers from the sky (also in MK)
• getting run over by a minibus (also in MK)

Nice! On a serious note though, it's really a shame that so much sh*t is going on in MK. It's such an awesome place and the perfect place for feeding my gadget addiction. Whether that's worth risking all of the above is another question!

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Great balls of fire

It's been a while since the last Canto lesson, so I thought I'd share another piece of slang that might be quite useful for many of us here in HK:



ngaahn fo baau literally means 'eyes fire explode' and as you can imagine is how you feel when you're angry as hell!

So, the next time someone shoves you out of the way to get into the MTR while the doors are closing causing you to fall backwards onto the ground and flash everyone with your 'scandalous' thong, you'll be able to raise your fist and tell everyone quite poetically how you feel (I'm so mad my eyeballs are on fire!!) :)

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Going out of town again! This time Westward... ;)
Have a great week, peoples!

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The search for paradise continues...

Coming to Hong Kong from Europe, I've often heard the term 'paradise' attached to various beaches in Asia, including Bali (of coz) and several others in Malaysia and the Philippines. Usually, the term makes you think of creamy white sand, crystal clear water and a coconut-husk hut, like this:

I found all that, but the most important thing related to paradise failed to show up: the SUN. And when it did peek out of the haze for a precious 45 mins, I got sunburnt so bad my skin turned bright red like a cheap piece of artificial crab.

In MY idea of paradise, the beach is quiet, secluded, and very, very calm. Unfortunately, where we went, our resort neighbours were loud and young, the skies were grey and the waters choppy following several consecutive rain storms. Add to that some broken flip flops, medicine bottles and random bits of paper washing up on shore, and you can kiss that idea of 'paradise' goodbye! ~_-

Guess I'll have to keep looking for that little spot of paradise, although I'm beginning to think that it's not gonna be in Asia... (*cough* Greece! *cough*)

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