All about locusts

The war between Hong Kongers and mainlanders has been getting intense with the latest ammo fired being a full page newspaper ad that depicts our Northern neighbours as locusts.

Now, there's even a depressing Cantopop song and music video being circulated around that sums up all the reasons to hate mainlanders (ie. their spitting, squatting and shitting in public, not queuing up, coming to HK to have babies, buying up everything we can't afford, being loud, being ugly, the list goes on and on).

I didn't really get the locust reference at first, but the more I read about these creepy crawlers, the more I understand...

You see, locusts are actually large grasshoppers who behave as individuals when there aren't that many of them around. BUT, the moment that a crowd of locusts form, they suddenly lose all sense of identity and kick into herd mentality, banding together in gangs of up to 40 billion (!!) and swarming to destroy everything in sight.

Scary, isn't it? Then, there's the theory of how they managed to fly across the Atlantic Ocean to get to the States way back when. Since there's no way they could have flown the whole way, the theory is that locusts flying at the front of the swarm may have died in the ocean and formed floating rafts of corpses for other members of the swarm to land on. The survivors then cannibalized the corpses to get more energy to keep flying all the way to America. *shudder*

And, you know what, a single migratory locust eats its own body weight in food each day, which is about 60-100x as much as we would eat per day! Talk about over-consumption.

An LV locust -- how appropriate.

So anyway ... back to the mainlanders. Unlike locusts that can be sprayed with pesticides or crushed under our feet, there's really nothing anyone can do about the invasion of mainlanders. And the fact is, they're not only in Hong Kong, they're taking over the world.

This couldn't have been more clear last week when I thought I was going to one of the most remote island paradises in the world. Instead, we were greeted by a resort packed with Chinese tourists -- yep, the kind that travel in big groups, let their kids pee anywhere they like and hoard all the food from the dinner buffets. Sigh.

There was even a mainland couple on our diving trip to Sipadan, whom I wouldn't have minded had Mr. Big 6 been a better scuba buddy. However, he turned out to be a selfish, childish idiot who kept swimming around recklessly to chase and harass all the fish, turtles and sharks, cutting off the other divers and kicking us in the face with his fins. He even told me to take pictures of him doing so, which I obviously ignored while secretly hoping for a live viewing of shark attack (which sadly didn't happen).

Obviously, not all mainlanders are gross, selfish and disgusting, but when you group them together into one gigantic mass of locusts, it gets pretty hard to see any beauty in that.