An oven for your stool sample

One of the things I love about Hong Kong is the amount of freebies that get thrown around, some of which seem just a tad random. Take for example the recent campaign by ESDlife, where you can choose from a free toaster oven, massage machine or hair dryer depending on the type of Body Check you purchase. For those who don't have a need for the three gift items above, there's always the easy, no-fail option of taking HK$150 worth of Park n' Shop coupons instead.

I never knew that so many varieties of Body Checks existed, nor had I ever imagined that companies would need to throw in freebies to attract customers. Silly me thought that Body Checks were just something people had to do once a year no matter what, gift or no gift.

Here in Hong Kong though, choosing a Body Check is more confusing than ordering an 8-course banquet dinner. First, there seem to be a myriad of tests that are identical to each other (plus or minus a few tests), so you really have to choose the specific body parts that you'd like to have checked. Next, certain services are treated as add-ons instead of the 'main course', such as a pelvic ultrasound, liver tumor or breast tumor markers.

So, if you decide to have your breasts checked (which is kind of important, wouldn't you say) you'd have to forgo the Cervix Test (aka Pap Smear), which is also pretty fundamental! In comes the ideal option - buy the comprehensive Body Check and add one Breast Check on the side for "ONLY HK$490 more!!"

I have to admit that their marketing is pretty darned extensive, offering special deals for "Two People Together (二人同行)", "Urban Diseases Health Check (都市病健康檢查)" (a MUST for HK dwellers I'm sure :P) and "Buy more save more" percentage discounts (spend over $2,500 and get 5% off, etc.)

However, what worries me is their disclaimer at the bottom of each test description page that says: "*All tests are not for the purpose of medical diagnosis or treatment." So, what the f@#$k are they for then?!