The pointy haired man exists!

So you may have already heard about (or seen) this impossibly pointy haired man shaping his hairstyle in the MTR, and the way he did so with the exaggerated movements seemed so ridiculous that I was pretty sure he wasn't real (ie. that it was a prank of some sort).

But lo and behold, while I was in the 24-hour Wellcome's cookie aisle last night, I saw Mr. Pointy Hair himself next to me checking out the cracker options.

I couldn't help but get excited at the sight of him and the pyramid of hair that sat on top of his head. Stiff and full of gel or hairspray, or both.

He seemed to notice the stares (as he kept looking at me), probably because I kept glancing at him too. And something told me that he must know that he's become somewhat of an internet sensation, because he seemed to welcome the attention as he walked through the aisles.

For those who have yet to view him in action, here it is:

Post by Chris Tsui.

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A lesson in small talk…

There's a reason why the weather is such a great subject to talk about. It's safe, far from personal and everyone can relate to it. UNLIKE BIMPLES!!

That's right -- bimples, aka. back pimples, or bacne (back-acne) if you prefer.

I was sitting at my desk typing away when my colleague snuck up from behind me to whisper, "Do you ever grow 'lup-lups' on your back?"

I turned my head slowly to come face-to-face with her extremely concerned expression.

"Lup…lup…?" I couldn't believe she was asking me this. (Lup-lup means little bumps in Canto, translation = zits)

"Yes, I saw your back through your sweater," (I was wearing a sweater with a teardrop cutout on the back), "and I just wondered if you ever grew zits there."

"Um… no…" I said slowly, trying to hide my disgust behind a polite smile.

"Because I do!" she exclaimed. "I can't wear sweaters like that because I have zits on my back. That's why I take Chinese medicine, to keep them from coming back."

Shocked, grossed out and fighting the vivid images of bacne in my head, I racked my brain for zits-related things to say and started blabbing, "Oh, I know people who grow zits on their back too. And on their shoulders, and other parts of the body. Actually, I get zits sometimes on my chin. It's totally normal, yea…"

By then, she had returned to her desk and sat down, and the conversation was over, as if it had never happened.

So yea, bacne, not a good subject. Please don't ever talk to me about it again. T_T"

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My egg waffle man

It's funny how someone can piss you off so much without saying a word. Take for instance, my local egg waffle man. 

A few weeks ago (yes, I hold a grudge), I was hoping to ask him if it'd be possible for him to make me some red egg waffles for my friend's moon-yuet party -- a traditional yet modern twist on those red eggs usually served at those parties. 

I know it seems like an awkward request, but I deliberately chose a time when he had no customers to make my approach. Walking up with a friendly smile, I told him the story of how my friend, who had been in confinement for the past 30 days, would love nothing more than to have some yummy Hong Kong egg waffles at her party, and if it were at all possible, if he could just make a few egg waffles for me if I brought the red dye to him, perhaps before he opened shop one morning. 

The egg waffle man, a skinny Chinese guy in his late 20s or early 30s who'd been staring at me with a dull facial expression, took a few seconds to process this and then ... shook his head. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping to find out why he couldn't do it. "I'll bring the red dye and I only need 1-2 waffles."

He shook his head once more with his jaw jutted out. 

"I'll pay you double, no, triple for them, and I'll even clean the batter jugs for you afterwards!!" 

Again, he shook his head with that 'yeung seui' expression on his face. Now, I was getting angry. 

"What do you mean no? Can't you just tell me why? What's the reason you can't do it? Tell me so I can understand!" I sputtered at him in my crappy Cantonese.

Once again, he simply shook his head. 

"Who's in charge here?!" I demanded to know.

And then, finally, the egg waffle man spoke. "I am."

At that, I did a complete 180 and left fuming, cursing the damn egg waffle man for not even trying to be helpful or at least having the courtesy to make up an excuse for why he wasn't going to help me. 

I mean, it's not like I was trying to take over his stand! If he was worried about mess, or trouble, or anything like that, I would have understood (okay, I might have tried to convince him otherwise first) but still, to be shut out like that by someone who just won't even talk to you -- I just didn't get it!

Five steps later though, I finally got it. The dude's an EGG WAFFLE MAN. He only makes one thing,  all day, every day in his life. He's not the rainbow egg waffle man, nor the chocolate chip waffle man, or god forbid, a fish ball man. He's a frickin' egg waffle man -- and that is all he shall EVER BE. 

(But damn, does he make good egg waffles.)  

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Japan's version of Face Off!

Ahh, Japan. What would we do without your creepy inventions? 

I'm annoyed that I didn't come across these earlier as they would have been perfect for Halloween! What I'm talking about are the plastic face masks made by Japanese company Real-F that are an exact replica of … YOUR FACE (or anyone else's). 

Hello, beautiful!

The details are down to the pores, moles, eyelashes, and blood vessels, which they create by taking pictures of your face from various angles and imprinting it on a vinyl chloride resin over a mold. 

Don't forget to SMILE :D because the last thing you'd want to do is give anyone the slightest hint that your face isn't real (a pleasant pseudo-smile works best).

This "shocked look" will likely attract stares.

So, why make a replica mask? I can think of a few reasons ... you could freeze the way you look at this moment, make love to yourself (kinkeh), or finally get people to understand what it's like to be you - just make sure they don't do anything illegal while wearing it!

In either case, masks cost US$3,920 for the first one and US$780 for additional copies (here).  Check out this video from Apple Daily showing the mask in action (where nobody even bats an eye)! 

They even show how this disguise could potentially be used by terrorists to smuggle themselves across borders, in addition to a super easy way to forge someone's fingerprints. Watch out!!

Pictures from Geekologie.com

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