Seniors with stickers

I saw her from a distance. Disheveled grey loosely permed hair. Sunken eyes. Missing teeth. Stumbling forward with a 4-legged cane.

Politely, I moved out of her way so she could have more space on the sidewalk, but she directed her crippled walk towards me again, coming closer and closer. When she came close enough for me to hear her frail voice, she asked me to please give her some money in support of something or other, in exchange for a little square sticker I could wear to show off how generous I was.

I said no nicely but for the next 2 blocks towards the office, I zig-zagged around old lady after old lady with a sheet of stickers in her hand asking for donations. All of them were painfully old, sad and pitiful. If she wasn't walking with a limp, she had a droopy eyelid, or just a really bad perm.

I was shocked. Whose idea was it to put old seniors out on the dirtiest street in Wanchai (Lockhart) to ask for money, knowing that they will most likely be cruelly rejected by 90% of passerbys? As if their lives weren't rough enough being old, frail and alone!! :(

Sure enough, it might be a good tactic in getting pity donations from people. But it didn't work on me.

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Xmas Eve Parties in Hong Kong

With such a "great nightlife", you'd think it'd be easier to find out what's happening on any given night here in HK, especially Christmas Eve and Day.

Nuh-uh.

But after digging around, I managed to find a few confirmed party details for those who are interested:

Volar
Xmas Eve Rockin' Party
DJ Thomas C & Leman on Club side
DJ Gruv & Yeodie on Lounge side
$500 for arrival between 10pm-12am
$300 for arrival after 12am
Open bar between 10pm-1am
On guestlist $300 (incl. 2 drinks)

M1NT
Ministry of Sound presents Femi B
House
$200 (non-members)
108 Hollywood Road, Central

Beijing Club
Xmas Eve Snowy Party
House/Hip-Hop/R&B
2-8 Wellington St, Central

Club No.9

Xmas Eve Special - Countdown with Cash Prize

Xmas Day - Ladies Night Free cocktails and entry

3/F, The Galleria, 9 Queen's Road Central

Billion Club

Xmas Eve Costume Party

3/F On Hing Building, 1-9 On Hing Terrace, Central

Vertigo Snow Queen Party

Unlimited Snow Queen Vodka and Standard Drinks

R&B/Hip Hop

Men: HK$450 and Ladies HK$350

Dress code: White

26/F, QRE Plaza, 202 Queen's Road East, Wan Chai

In no way is this complete but there's not really that much info out there! I'm guessing that the whole of Lan Kwai Fong is open for partying and for those who wanna wing it, I'm sure you'll still have fun!

IMPORTANT!!

For those attempting to go to Lan Kwai Fong on Xmas and New Years Eve, they will be blocking off the areas (I assume) which is why there is this map available:

LKF Map (click to download)

Make sure you check out how to get in and out of the area as it's sure to be packed!! Apparently there is no entry between 11pm and 1am on the 24th and 31st of Dec!

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I won!! Not really...

It seems that I've had pretty good luck since arriving in Hong Kong, at least when it comes to random lucky draws. At a Canadian Chamber networking event, my name card was drawn for (no, not the Manic Street Preachers concert tix) but a 6 month subscription to Quamnet, some kind of stock price analysis company (yippity doo dah.)

At another networking event by HK mag, I won a bottle of Baileys Creme Caramel (now, we're talking!) and just recently, I got an SMS from my yoga centre saying that I won some sort of prize worth HKD 800!

The next time I'm there, I happily go up to the counter and ask for my prize, thinking it might be HKD 800 of Sogo gift certs ^_^ but instead, I get handed a small box and sat down with a membership consultant, telling me that if I sign another contract or extend my membership, I'll have an instant discount of HKD 800.

@_@

"So... this box is empty...?" I asked. He chuckles and goes, "No no... there's a gift in there."

Turns out it's just some AquaFresh whitening trays. Quite useful I must say, but I woulda preferred Sogo gift certs :) These HK people sure are sneaky with their marketing tactics!

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Bad blogger

Sorry all, I've been missing for a while cuz I was computer-less! But now, I'm back on a shiny new Mac, and I plan to post a lot more from now on.

Stay tuned!!:)
E

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TMV: Too Much Visual

This morning as I was drying my hair after yoga, I saw a woman behind me making some rough motions between her legs.

I couldn't help but notice her, because she was wrapped in a bath towel, squatting low with her legs spread, one hand holding up her towel at the chest and the other wiping her nether regions back-and forth, back-and-forth at least 10x in a very rough manner. Staring at her with wide eyes, I was even more shocked to see her finish off by taking a stack of wet paper towels out from her crotch and chucking it into the garbage bin.

I know with hot yoga comes a lot of gross things (people burping, farting, pointing my finger right into someone's butt crack, etc.) but it's all been taken to a whole new level here in Hong Kong. From seeing Sasquatch-like hairy legs on little HK ladies to being next to the belching-with-every-sit-up Santa Claus pot-bellied lookalike, I've really had to adjust my comfort zone.

However, what I saw today, I can and will not accept!! If she wants to dry her crotch, she should do it in the toilet dammit!!

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It's raining...acid??

It's not uncommon to feel a few sprinkles drop from the sky when you're walking around in Hong Kong. Normally, it's just condensation from the millions of air conditioning units hanging from buildings above, but today, a bottle of corrosive liquid dropped from the sky onto the busiest street in Mong Kok : Sai Yeung Choi Street!!!

Considering that we hang out there 80% of the time we're out, I feel SO lucky to not have been there today. I mean, about 20 people got burned by the unidentified liquid, and who knows if their wounds will leave them scarred for life?! :( and what kind of person would throw acid out the window?? Hopefully it was all just an accident...

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Big Eyes = Beautiful

I was talking to one of my colleagues the other day when I noticed there was something strange about her.

Was it her haircut...? No. New mascara...? Nah. Upon closer examination, I noticed that her eyes were eerily dark and extra large. It wasn't until I noticed it on a few other girls in HK when I connected the dots (or pupils, haha).

Turns out that there are contact lenses here that actually make your eyes look bigger! Similar to colour contacts, these ones feature an extra wide diameter to expand your pupil and make your eyes more 'alluring'... They come in pitch black or winsome (whatever that means) brown, but most girls I've seen have the black ones, which actually look pretty freaky.

Out of curiosity, I bought a pair of brown ones and tried them for a day. The verdict? DRY, oh so dry. Vision was also impaired and I could barely use my computer, things were so blurry. By the end of the day, I didn't know if my eyes had gotten physically bigger due to the contacts or the all-day strain!!

Oh, the things women do for beauty...

PS. If your eyes are already pretty big, it's not really necessary to use these "big eye" contacts... :p

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The Dreaded Toilet

It's never good to hold it in, but you would too if you had to go all the way out of the office into a deserted, dingy stairwell, with a big-a** toilet key in hand, into a freezing cold, air-conditioned double-stalled toilet where none of the flushes work.

Yes, that's right. One of the toilets DO flush but if you're unlucky enough to be using it immediately after someone else, you're just as doomed to have to fill up (using a slow tap) a very used 4L Watsons plastic water jug and slosh your doings down the hole manually.

That's not all. The automatic soap dispenser is usually empty, the 'handtowel' is actually just another roll of toilet paper (that disintegrates as you use it, leaving bits of paper sticking to your hands) and the hand dryer is just strong enough to suck in the tail end of the 'handtowel', again getting wet and leaving bits of paper stuck to your hands as you dry them.

How could this be? I'm still wondering myself! Not only is it inconvenient, but it's totally unsanitary and uncivilized. :( As one of the most successful companies in China/Asia/worldwide, don't we employees deserve working toilets, at the least? I'm so thinking of starting a petition... :p

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Going Veg

Last night, I was shooting chicken invaders out of the sky in a symphony of 'ba-caws!' Could it have been a sign??

Looks like the bird flu is back again in Hong Kong. Just 18 minutes ago, news broke that three dead chickens tested positive for the H5N1 virus, prompting the immediate slaughter of 80,000 birds (poor things). Poultry imports are also halted for 21 days.

I've always thought of trying to become vegetarian, but never got very far, thanks to beautiful pieces of BBQ pork dripping honey and crunchy, juicy pieces of hot fried chicken. I don't think it will be too hard now though, since half of the food I normally eat has a chance of potentially killing me here.

• Chicken? Bird flu
• Milk? Melamine
• Eggs? Melamine
• Beef? Gave it up in 2006
• Lamb? Fazed it out many years ago
• Veggies? Sprayed with pesticides

Guess I better be more careful, and stick to eating soy products! Maybe it'll even do my waistline some good :D

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A Weekend with Work

When I first saw the email, I must say I was shocked. Office teambuilding, over an entire weekend?!?! O_o The whole thing was very mysterious at first, and none of us were told where we were going or what the activities would be until the very day.

No wonder. The first night, we were told to walk on fire.

To be honest, I was somewhat curious but I definitely didn't feel that it was ever something that I had always wanted to do... I had heard that it was a magical experience, "mind over matter" and everything, but that didn't stop me from feeling the fiery hot pieces of blazing wood sear right through my foot soles. I actually ended up with four mini blisters!! :(

Biggest takeaway? Fire is HOT :p

The rest of the weekend was spent in Macau, where we went on a treasure hunt (similar to the Amazing Race), got to know each other better and drank/gambled at night. All that "work" has left me in ruins on this weary Monday morning...

***
PS. This morning the HR lady writes to me:

HR lady: 昨日有無暈船浪 (Did you get seasick yesterday?)
Me: no, i was okay, how about u?
HR lady: come back HK meeting billows
HR lady: Mary & me spew

Lol... yuck!

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Oops, I cut it again...

The other night I was in Mong Kok after work when I realised I had a couple hours to spare. I had just confirmed my plane ticket to Koh Samui for Xmas (yippy!!) and was feeling rather happy, free and didn't feel like going home yet. So, I shuffled into the crowd towards Sai Yeung Choi street, thinking that I'd maybe have a look at some electronics or something.

While walking down the street, I came across this hair salon that I had visited the year before when visiting HK and thought, "Hm, why not go up and see if that guy who gave me a pretty good 'do is still working, maybe he can give me a quick fix and help me get this hair under control..."

Unfortunately... this was the result:

Even though I said: NO short layers, NO shaggy do, NO mullet, NO short bangs that leave me looking mentally retarded, NO haircut resembling an 8 year old girl, NO cutting on the length, etc. I ended up with a super Honger hairdo, complete with the thin layer of hair around my neck, thinned out so badly that it has the consistency of cotton candy. It's literally a paper-thin sheet of hair that is super straight that yet still flips out at the shoulders(!!).

I'm never going to that hair salon again, and for anyone out there who might be at risk of this crazy hair butcher, try to avoid the VOLUME hair salon in Mong Kok!

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Who’s the prettiest one of all?

While doing my regular check of what’s happening this weekend, I happened to come across the Miss Babe Yi event for this Saturday night. It looked pretty standard at first, ladies free, men pay HKD150, everyone gets a free drink. Reading on, it said:

“All men will be given 3 stickers, they can post them on any girls that they think are the most pretty and gorgeous ones. Around 1a.m., Yilou [the club] will ask the top 3 girls to come out and let them to have a self introduction/talent show. Then the girl who received the most support will be titled as “Miss Baby Yi”. She will receive a gift from Tiffany & Co. and 1 X 1.5L Astoria Lounge.”

Hmm… I can’t help but feel a mixture of curiosity and disgust. Part of me wants to go as it’s a pretty funny concept, but if I did, I feel like I’d have to make an effort and dress up just to avoid being put in the ‘ugly’ pile. And what about the girls who do go all out, complete with double eye-lid stickers, fake eyelashes and jelly boobs? What if they don’t get any stickers? How sad would that be? Would there be men who give pity votes to some girls? Or would they naturally paste their stickers on the most boobacious/skimpily dressed ladies just so they can get a quick feel?

The whole thing just seems a tad wrong, just like beauty pageants. I know it’s just for fun but maybe they should have made it a Miss AND Mister Baby Yi event, just so we ladies could paste stickers on the hot men too. Of course, we wouldn’t have a very big selection to choose from (haha), but still, at least it would be equal.

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The Horror of Wearing Flip Flops

Flip flops. Generally regarded as one of the most comfortable footwear styles ever known to (wo)man. Does not restrict blood flow. Won’t mould your foot into a triangular shape. Keeps your toes free to wiggle. And hey, they match with almost anything. Who would ever suspect the flip flop to have any negative sides??

But let me tell you, wearing flip flops in HK is a very. bad. idea… Why? Just imagine this. You’re in the middle of a massive, and I mean massive crowd of people who are rushing to their next destination, who don’t know or care about the concept of personal space, don’t give a rat's ass about you, everyone’s moving in different directions and you’re shuffling along, weaving past slow walkers (and glaring at them) while dodging the people who sprint from metro to metro, looking down at times to make sure no one’s pick pocketed you and looking up at times to make sure you’re still facing the right direction, when suddenly your back foot is STUCK, your body jerks forward and your foot feels like it’s literally being cut into 3 evenly sized pieces thanks to some dude/chick who’s stepped on or may even *still* be stepping on the back of your flip flop.

Every time this happens – and it happens a LOT (approximately 5x a day, no joke) – the same thought runs through my mind, “How freakin’ close do you have to be to step on the back of my flip flop as I’m walking?!?!!” and no matter how evil the look I shoot to the offender, they ignore me 99% of the time, pretending that it never even happened!! WTH!!!?!

It’s pretty stressful and annoying, I have to say, to go through the crazy “people jam” every morning and evening to and from work. I know I used to complain about having to bike to work in the rain/wind of Holland but at least there, it was just the weather that I was complaining about, which is actually uncontrollable. Here, it just boggles me that there is no effort by HK people to apologize for doing something so vicious, even if it was unintentional!! GRR!!

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Cheap!!

Today, I was officially scorned by the office cleaning lady. Despite my daily 'good mornings' to her and rigorous attempts to make her feel like a just-as-worthy human being, I'm pretty sure she hates me right now.

Why, you ask?

The thing is, each of us have a little rubbish bin under our desk, which is essentially a rectangular plastic bin with a grey plastic bag lining it. I assumed, wrongfully(?) that we could throw garbage in it. Today, my lunch was particularly saucy, so when she came around in the afternoon to empty our garbage bins, she noticed that mine was particularly wet.

Her face was hidden by her tri-fold SARS mask, but the disdain in her eyes could not be missed as she said, 'Next time, wrap up your lunch better!' I remarked back to her, 'But isn't that a garbage bin?' She just replied, while picking through my wet garbage, 'We reuse garbage bags,' or something to that effect.

So basically, her job is to come around 2ce a day with a large garbage bag, and empty all of our smaller bins' contents into her bag. The last time I encountered something that cheap was when I worked at a fast food chain owned by an East Indian family (no offense). At the time, *I* was forced to do the exact same thing, which was to lift giant sized garbage bins and, if they were not yet full, empty one garbage bag's contents into another just to save 0.002 cents.

Anyway, I've learned my lesson. Next time, I'll throw my wet food stuff into someone else's garbage bin. :D

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Cantonese 101

Wow, time flies!! Especially in HK. Even though there seem to be more waking hours in the day, including hours where you can eat, shop or just hang out away from home, the time just slips away quicker than ever.

We've been in HK for a month now, and Halloween is tomorrow (gasp!). We don't have any plans yet (double gasp!!) which is astonishing, since it's actually my favourite day of the year, usually. This year might be a lil different, since I a) don't have any of my halloween gear here, and b) don't have a party to hit up :(

Of course there are a ton of expat things going on in Lan Kwai Fong and various clubs (with a hefty price tag attached, of course), but it just isn't the same without good friends around. Sigh... I guess we'll let you know how it ends up!

--

On another note, I recently bought a book called Cantonese Colloquialisms to expand my vocabulary, and it has the most ridiculous/hilarious things in it. Mind you, I've only read the first few pages, which funnily enough is all about bugs, but a few phrases stick out in particular.

For example, have you ever heard the phrase 'juhk chung yup see fut'? Literally, it means to catch a worm and put it up your a**. Apparently, it means bringing trouble to oneself (no kidding).

So, if you were to use it in a sentence, it'd be, "Oh, you've got blisters, have you? Who told you to walk in those 5" heels?? You totally caught a worm and shoved it up your a**!"

So there you go. Your first lesson in Cantonese, by yours truly.

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Boot-boot

The other day, me and C were out on the streets trying to find the minibus to Mong Kok from our neighborhood, when a man walked by and let a loud one rip.

"Did he just...???" I asked with a shocked expression.

"Yep," said C, matter-of-factly.

I see... and that wasn't the only time it's happened. It seems that in HK, it's perfectly alright to let your natural gases escape when and where they appear, perhaps since the air quality is so bad anyway (?). I mean, who would notice right? Clouded with exhaust fumes, the smell of frying oil and gasoline, fart smells should naturally blend right in.

Now if only they would work on their sounds...

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What's in a name?

Lately, I’ve been looking thru the Nike address book in China/HK a little bit and couldn’t help noticing the interesting choice of names. Note I said ‘choice’, because I’m pretty sure these names were not the doings of parents, I mean, they are too downright egoistical and/or cute to have been, right??

So, how exactly does one name him/herself here? It seems that some people picked names that would easily start up conversations, since they were all weather-related:

(Note: all names are real, unchanged, and followed by a Chinese last name, e.g. Chan)

• Snow
• Summer
• Rain
• Sunny

Possible conversation:
S: Hi! My name is Sunny! Today is also sunny!
R: Cool! My name is Rain. It rained yesterday.

Or, what about something inspired by nature:

• Bamboo
• Spark
• Shadow

Are you a food lover? Then you’ve gotta be a(n):

• Egg
• Kiwi

Love animals? Why not name yourself:

• Eagle
• Bear
• Lion

Proud of who you are? Then these are for you:

• Handsome (Hello, I am Handsome!)
• One (Hey there...‘I am…the ONE’ *wink)

So there you have it, the choices are literally endless! What would YOU name yourself?? :)

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Dust, smog and soot

As most people know, HK isn’t known to have the best air quality. Most of the time, the view of the skyline is covered in a thick layer of fog/smog, and the air is thick and heavy. Luckily it’s lightened up a bit these days due to heavy rain, but it sure is dusty, especially inside our place!

Just a few hours after wiping up, a layer of dust forms again. My aunt says it’s cuz we live on the 3rd floor, so all the pollution flies right in. =( We’ve gotta figure out a solution to this, so if anyone knows anything, tell us!! So far we’ve just been closing the windows more often…

Funny too – they don’t have SWIFFER here (where it’s MOST needed)! They’ve got all these imitation brands from Japan/3M, but it just ain’t the same. They’re not as staticky, and don’t have that 3D structure that traps dust so well. We shoulda brought ours over, dammit! It was the smoothest thing ever with a smart swivel head…

*dreams away of Swiffering S-shapes throughout the apartment*

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Update

Hi everyone!!

First, thanks to everyone for a killer party last weekend!! I had a wicked time but I’ll never drink that much ever again!! Sunday was a total write-off :p

Anyway, the trip to HK went surprisingly smooth. First, after we handed over our apartment keys to the housing agent, we needed to call a taxi but the line was busy. Luckily though, our agent offered to drive us to Central Station in his minivan (so nice!)!! Next, we arrived at Schiphol with way too much luggage (expecting to pay another 150 euros or so for an extra suitcase of stuff) but at the check-in counter, we were told that we could both check-in 2 bags each!! (Usually it’s only 20kg each.) So, everything went in without any extra costs!!

Next, we flew to London, then to Doha, and switched over smoothly for the last 8-hr leg to HK. Both landings were ultra soft and we were in HK before we knew it :)

Apartment
As my dad was in HK for a month, he helped us look around for some apartments to live in. The one he and our family friends found is Harbour X which we have now signed up for 6 months.

One word: W-O-W. I thought I would miss our W'park apartment, but this ALMOST makes me forget that I ever lived in A'dam…

The perks:

• indoor/outdoor pool w/ lifeguards
• brand new gym with built-in TV sets
• free towel service
• free reading lounge with English/Chinese magazines
• free massage chairs with side-mounted TV (20 mins each time)
• free Wifi in CNN lounge
• free umbrella service
• 24-hour concierge and greeters at base of tower with bellboys (for carrying suitcases/groceries)
• free steam room, sauna, Jacuzzi
• private karaoke, party and banquet rooms, private cinema room, private games room, all for about 3 euros/hour
• beauty salon with member packages

Our apartment is pretty sweet too. It’s about 60m2 with two bedrooms, a shiny new kitchen, bathroom with a small LCD TV screen integrated into the mirror, and large balcony. We’re only on the 3rd floor, but it’s still higher than our old place =)

It came unfurnished, so me and C have been busy running around HK looking for cheap yet stylish furniture everyday. We’ll let you know how it turns out!! :)

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